


Carry on, my wayward son

by Sammynator



Series: How Supernatural should have ended [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Souls, The Empty (Supernatural), comfort in chapter 2, no beta we die like castiel, the Speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammynator/pseuds/Sammynator
Summary: “But I think I know now, happiness isn´t in the having, it´s in just being, it´s in just saying it.” No. Whatever that was, it was too big, Dean wouldn´t be able to deal with it, not now, maybe not ever, the foreboding, the weight of it settled on top on everything that was going on and he couldn´t…Castiel is gone and Dean doesn´t know how to deal with it, doesn´t know what to do with himself. Eventually, he ends up in Cas´ room in the bunker and finds a letter with his name written on it.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: How Supernatural should have ended [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025811
Comments: 23
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can´t believe this is happening! I can´t believe we got to see this day! Gaaah!!
> 
> Chuck, I´m a mess, but at least I got some writing done.
> 
> My take on the events after S15 Ep18. HEAVY SPOILER ALERT!

„I´m sorry.“

Dean meant to say so much with these words. He could go on for a week to express everything he was sorry for, every time he let the world down, every time he let himself get lost in anger and despair and grief and hadn´t been there for his family. Every harsh word he´d said to Jack and Cas and Sam. Every time he´d became the very thing he´d swore to erase from this world. Every time he´d made fucked up decisions. Every time he´d pushed Cas away and let his wrath get the better of him. Every time he ignored the sadness and hurt in his best friends´ eyes. But Death was banging against the door and he couldn´t get out and be with his brother where he was supposed to be and he couldn´t safe the world. He couldn´t save Cas. There was nothing he could do and the severity of it took his breath away.

Cas looked up, as if an idea just struck. “But there is … there´s one thing she´s afraid of. There´s one thing strong enough to stop her.”

Hope tore through Deans veins like fire, maybe they could pull something of, just one more time. Beat the odds, get out of the bunker, do what they were meant to do. But it didn´t last long.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to safe him.”

The fire was replaced by ice. “You what?” Deals. Again. As if they hadn´t proved numerous times that that never ended well. Dread settled in Dean´s bones and made his chest constrict even more.

“The price was my life.”

Of fucking course it was!

“If I experienced a moment of true happiness, the empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever.”

 _No, no, no, no, this can´t be happening! Not again!_ But… happiness… “Why are you telling me this now?” _Why didn´t you tell us before? What are you doing? Please don´t do anything stupid!_ “

I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered, what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. And I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it´s something I know I can´t have.”

And suddenly, the fire was back, mingling with the dread and Dean felt his heart try to leap out of his chest.

“But I think I know now, happiness isn´t in the having, it´s in just being, it´s in just saying it.”

No. Whatever that was, it was too big, Dean wouldn´t be able to deal with it, not now, maybe not ever, the foreboding, the weight of it settled on top on everything that was going on and he couldn´t… “What are you talking about, man?”

Cas stepped closer, his wet eyes fixed on Dean´s and everything else melted away, leaving just the two of them in their own universe and Dean didn´t want to hear it and he couldn´t wait.

“I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You´re destructive, you´re angry and you´re broken, you´re “daddy´s blunt instrument” and you think that hate and anger, that´s what drives you, that´s who you are.”

So far, so agreeable, didn´t mean that hearing it didn´t hurt.

“It´s not. And everyone who knows you, sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.”

Wait, what? Love. Dean couldn´t even remotely understand what someone, especially someone like Cas, could possibly see in him that made him say this. But oh, how he wanted to believe him.

“You are the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving human being that I´ll ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me.”

A shaky inhale and Dean wanted nothing more that to wrap his arms around Cas and hold him together, but the words rooted him to the spot, his mind was a tumble of panicked, soaring, complicated thoughts and Cas´ eyes were so shiny and he couldn´t look away.

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.”

The tears spilled and the little, sobbing laugh nearly broke Dean.

“You changed me, Dean.”

A smile broke through the tears and it hit Dean with the force of a lifetime´s worth of tragedy.

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

“Because it is.”

_No, please, whoever is listening, don´t take him away like this, not now!_

“I love you.”

And over a decade of looks and deeds and spilled blood and heartbreak came together at the worst time possible. But oh, that smile. Happiness…

“Don´t do this, Cas.”

_Don´t go! Don´t leave me! Don´t go thinking you can have this! I want…_

But Cas´ eyes wandered to the wall behind him and when Dean turned, a black mass erupted from it and the door flew open and he was out of time.

“Cas…”

“Goodbye, Dean.” 

Cas gripped him tight and threw him out of harms´ way and there was nothing else Dean could to than watch with horror and despair and a scream trapped in his throat how the black goo ingulfed Cas, who was still smiling and more at peace than Dean had ever seen him, and disappear together with Billy and then he was gone.

There was a rasping sound that Dean´s shocked mind clung to. Irregular, but repetative. It took a while until he realized that it was his own breath rattling in his lungs. His eyes kept flicking around the room, as if Cas would suddenly reappear. As if he´d just get up and come over to Dean with that familiar concern edged into his blue eyes and then Dean could grab him and hug him and never let him go and tell him … And tell him … He didn´t tell him. And now Cas would never know. A sob forced it´s way out of Dean´s constricted chest and burned in his eyes. He pressed his hands into his eyes, tears streaming over his face. A buzz. His phone. Sam! Jack! They needed him, Dean should get up and help them safe the world. But his just had ended and he couldn´t convince his hand to answer the call. Dean just sagged against the cool wall and mourned Castiel, angel of the lord, the one who had gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

***

Sam found him, five hours later, laying on the floor and staring at the wall where Cas had disappeared. Dean had heard him calling his name in the bunker for a good five minutes, but couldn´t get up. Finally, his brother barged through the door.

“Dean! Cas!”

Then he saw him, eyes wild with worry.

“Dean, are you okay?”

Dean could just stare with red, burning eyes and shake his head.

“What happened, where is Cas? Everyone is gone, everyone! Charlie, Bobby, even Donna, everyone, there´s no one left!”

Dean saw how his brothers iron grip on himself began to crumble and he fell on his knees besides him.

“Everyone”, croaked Dean and their eyes met.

“Cas?”

Dean´s lower lip trembled. Sam pulled him up and into his arms.

“I lost him and now I´ll never get to tell him…”

He didn´t finish the sentence. He didn´t have to. Sam held him closer.

***

The bunker was silent. Jack was in his room, Sam had passed out on the library table, a book as a pillow and a half empty glass of whisky in his hand. Dean had draped a blanket over him, but left him there. They could use every minute of sleep that they could get.

On the way to his bed, Dean passed by the door to Cas´ room and stared forlorn at the dark wood. He tried to imagine the angel sleeping in there, or coming through the door to join him on a hunt.

_Everything you do, you do for love._

_You changed me, Dean._

_I love you._

The words echoed through Dean´s exhausted brain, making his eyes burn yet again. Why shouldn´t he… Well, there was nobody stopping him. He opened the door and stepped over the threshold. The room was clean, of course it was. The sheets on the bed were slightly rumpled, as if Cas had just gotten up, made the bed in a haste and then left. There was an angel blade lying on the desk and a photo of the four of them on the nightstand. A spare tie hung over the chair and the door of the closet was slightly ajar, so Dean could see a white shirt on a hanger. A duffle bag lay under the desk.

Dean let himself sink heavily on the chair and hid his face in his hands. This had been an awful idea. But now it was too late to turn back, he hadn´t had it in him to leave that room again. Maybe Cas would barge in and look at him with that confused head tilt. God what would he give to hear that deep voice again.

_I love you._

_Goodbye, Dean._

Absentminded, Dean opened a drawer of the desk and peaked inside. There was … something. His mixtape. The old Led Zeppelin mixtape he had given to Cas. A small laugh broke out of him. Of course he would have kept that. But that wasn´t it. Under the tape was an envelope. A white envelope with his name on it.

Dean placed the mixtape on the desk with shaky hands and stared at his name in Cas´ handwriting. Deliberately and slowly, he pulled the envelope out of the drawer. He didn´t know if he wanted to know. If he could take any more words from Cas that he wouldn´t be able to answer to. For a long time he just sat there, his fingers caressing the paper that Cas had been holding in his own hands, the words that he had written. Dean sniffed and steeled himself. Then he opened the letter.

_Hello Dean,_

_I don´t expect you to read this, ever. But as our fight against god continues and with a deal made to safe our son over my head, I feel the need to vocalize some of the things that I have been thinking about for a very long time. I know that none of this changes anything, but maybe the words won´t burn as bright inside me any longer after I entrusted them to paper._

_When I came to rescue you from hell, I was a mindless soldier. I had a job to do, and that was all that mattered, and all that had mattered in the millennia of my existence. I was told to pull you out and so I did. But when I held this stubborn, bright, defiant, strong, kind, beautiful, loving soul in my hands, while I rebuilt your body, it struck a chord. I got an idea that my existence didn´t have to be the way it had been. And then we met for real, and the more time I spent with you, the more astonished I became. How a mortal man, even more one that had a clear destiny set up by heaven, made his own choices again and again, and all of them were to protect the ones closest to him, was beyond me. I got to see you look my superiors in the eye and defy them, and you did it to protect your brother and your friends and the world. Faced with your bravery, the only thing that I could do was going with you. Trust that bright soul and help you in every way I could. I went with you and I´ll come with you as long as I can._

_Over the years, we had our fair share of loss and pain and heartbreak. I made mistakes, terrible mistakes that cost the world so dearly, that cost you so much, and still you find it in you to forgive me, again and again. I don´t understand, but that´s fine, as long as I can stay with you. You, too, had your dark moments, as had Sam, as had Jack. But we stick together and the one thing that keeps us together is you. And if I managed to become a better person over the years, I´ve done so because of you._

_Still, if I had one wish, I wish that I could share this with you. When I thought I was dying, a few years ago, I told you, and then I got scared and didn´t go through with it. Let you dismiss it, like you dismiss things that could get too close to you. But I can´t help asking myself what would be like. What life would look like if I would just be brave enough to tell you. I guess I´ll never know._

_There are so many things that I want to tell you. How it felt when you found me in Purgatory. What it felt like to see you through human eyes for the first time, or how my heart jumped when you came into that store. The peace I feel when I see you laugh or smile. The pleasantness of your hands on my skin. How glad I am when I get to sit in the car with you in the summer and watch you drive, your soft singing and the wind tousling your hair and the way your eyes sparkle. Maybe there´ll be a day I can tell you about all of it. I´d like to._

_There is just one more thing that I can tell you. Something that has been a part of me for more than a decade. Dean, I love you. More than you can imagine. And if the empty should come and collect, this is the one thing that I´ll take with me from this world to the next._

_In love,_

_Castiel_

The last lines blurred in front of Dean´s eyes. He had to put the letter down on the desk, his hands shook too much to allow him to read. His body cramped under the force of his sorrow. “You idiot. You damn idiot, how could you not have known? I lo… me, too, you hear me, Cas?! You could have had it. All of it. You … just … I want you back. I need you, and I want you back, and how could you think for a second that I don´t love you back?” When his sobs had ebbed a little bit, Dean wiped his face with his sleeve and rummaged through the drawers until he found the paper and the pen. His eyes burned with exhaustion, but there were things that had to be set. He swallowed hard and started writing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giving up is not really Dean´s strong suit. And so, he doesn´t. Whatever it takes, he´ll get Cas back!

Jack and Sam led Chuck, bound by Jack´s grace, a special set of cuffs and some rope, into the dungeon. Dean had even gagged him; he was so tired of Chuck´s mocking and narcissistic ramblings. He didn´t even look at him. Dean was over that, was over wanting to kill something to get over his wrath, didn´t want justice or payback or whatever petty shit he´d been after before. All he wanted was to get Cas back, call him an idiot, wrap his arms around him and never let go.

God´s eyes grew bigger and bigger the longer he watched them perform the ritual. As Dean lit the herbs in the bowl he silently swore to himself that it would be the last time. One more ritual. One more time. One more fight. And then he´d be done. He had plans, or ideas, but none of them would be worth anything if this didn´t work. So he set his jaw and concentrated on the chant, ignoring the muffled protests of Chuck behind him.

“What do you want? What is it with you people that I can´t just SLEEP?!”

The empty´s scream tore through the room and Dean froze. He could feel the power of this being in every cell of his body. Briefly, he looked over at his family. Sam swallowed hard and Jack looked like he wanted to go and hide somewhere. Even Chuck seemed … not scared. But worried. And that was enough for Dean. He knew this would work. He knew it had to. There was only one way.

“I want to make a deal.” The empty turned Meg´s face towards him.

“Is that so? And what deal could I possibly want to make with you?”

Dean took a deep breath.

_Here goes nothing. Here goes everything._

“You get god, we get Cas back.”

The empty cocked it´s head. “My my, what do we have here? A lovesick fool trying to safe his boyfriend?”

Dean clenched his teeth. “Maybe this is exactly what this is. We … I want Cas back. You can kill god. Come on, this is a good deal. You get god, we get”

 _The bravest, most loyal, most idealistic, caring, loving, badass, chaotic angel, friend, lover, brother, who has been with us for more than a decade, who has bled way too much for us, who has given anything and everything for us and never asked for anything in return_.

“We get Cas.”

The empty seemed to consider it.

“Who will fill the power vacuum that god will leave?”

“I will.”

Jack stepped forward. “I will balance this universe. But I won´t interfere. Everyone will be free to live their lives as they want.”

The empty lifted one eyebrow. “Well. Good luck with that. You know what, fine. I accept the deal. Or, you know, half of it. Forever is forever, you know. But I can dispose this nuisance for you.”

And with that, it disintegrated into the black goo that had taken Cas and wrapped itself around god.

The last time, Dean had been frozen in place, stunned by the sheer force of Cas´ confession. Shocked by how fast everything had changed. This time, the terror of absolutely nothing going according to plan made him fast. It made him desperate and stupid and so determined, he didn´t realize what he himself was doing, before he launched himself at Chuck and clung to him as the black mass engulfed him. Then everything went black and the last thing he heard was Sam´s voice.

“DEAN!”

***

Dean opened his eyes. At least he thought he had. Nothing changed. He lifted his hand in front of his face, but he couldn´t see anything. His heart began to hammer in his chest. At least he could feel that. Slowly, he caressed his own face and felt his eyelids flutter. So far, so normal. Well, not normal. He was in the empty. He … he was in the empty! Castiel had to be somewhere here! Dean couldn´t see anything, but there seemed to be something like gravity pulling him down, so he got up. “Cas? Castiel? Cas, where are you?” Nothing. No echo, no answer, nothing. But he wasn´t here to give up, so Dean started walking.

Dean lost track of time immediately. He didn´t have a clue how long he had been walking mindlessly, screaming Cas´ name as often as he wanted to. He had tried to count his steps for a while, but kept on losing track around 30.000. Or 40.000? He didn´t know. But Dean didn´t get hungry. Or tired. His feet didn´t hurt. That was useful and unsettling at the same time. At some point, he just started to pray.

_Hey Cas. I´m in the empty now. Man, if you can hear me, hold on! I´m coming for you. I´ve got so much to say, but I want to see you when I say it. Please don´t give up. I´ll be there soon. Like … do you remember purgatory? That first night was over so fast, I panicked and there were monsters everywhere, by morning I was roughed up and more tired than I´d ever been, but I couldn´t sleep. The only thing I could think about was you. I was so scared that they´d got you, or that you had left me, I just kept on going. And when I found you… I don´t think I had been so happy since I´d got Sammy back from hell. And do you remember that first time we met for real, like, on earth with you actually being there and not screaming in my head? Yeah, I was scared, but when you told me that I didn´t think that I deserved to be saved, I was just … I was pissed and happy at the same time. Pissed that someone could see through me. Happy that someone finally could see through me. And when you…_

Dean went on like this for what felt like an eternity. Recalled everything they had been through. Every moment they´d laughed together, every time they´d lost each other, every battle and win and loss and fight and reunion. It took a while until he realized that something had changed. Dean lifted his hands and he could see them. His lower body disappeared somewhere in the darkness, but everything above his waist was visible.

 _Huh, something just changed, Cas! Maybe … maybe I´m getting closer_?

Dean called Cas´ name again, no answer. But he refused to let this stop him. So he took up his monologue again and went on. Slowly but steadily, his body became visible and his voice got a slight echo in the dark. “Cas? Castiel?” Still nothing. Some steps more. And then … there was a light in the distance. A speck of … something. Hope fluttered in Dean´s chest. There was someone. Someone in a trench coat. And he started running.

***

“Cas? Castiel, I´m here! I´m here! I´m…”

Cas turned around and his eyes got comically wide before they narrowed. “Are you playing games with me?”

For a second, Dean was flabbergasted, then he remembered where he was. “No, I´m here, it´s me, it´s Dean!”

Cas opened his mouth and cocked his head to the side and Dean couldn´t resist any longer. He threw himself forward and wrapped Cas in his arms. And oh, it felt so good! Dean couldn´t let go, he knew it had to be uncomfortable for Cas and that he was clinging too tight, but he had missed him so much and he had wasted so much time. And he couldn´t let go. Suddenly, the tears came back and he sobbed in Cas´ shoulder as he crumpled the trench coat in his fists.

Cas´ hands came up to caress his head and stroke his back. “Dean.” It sounded like everything was said with that one word. It took a long time until Dean could stop crying and let go of Cas, slightly embarrassed, but not enough to avert his eyes and not drink in every detail of his face. Castiel looked like he couldn´t believe what he was seeing.

“Dean, what are you doing here?”

Dean tried to talk, cleared his throat and tried again: “I´m getting you out of here. Did you really think I could leave you like this after… after you…”

Cas lowered his gaze. “I´m sorry.”

“What, no! Don´t … don´t be.”

Hesitantly, the angel looked up at him, doubt and fear in his beautiful, watery, wet eyes and Dean knew. This was the moment. Everything he had to say, he had to say now. But his throat was locked and his tongue was a dead weight in his mouth and for a terrifying moment, he thought he was going to fail, that he would never be able to be as brave as Cas had been. And then he remembered the letter in the chest pocket of his jacket. With shaking fingers, he pulled it out. It took him two tries, and his voice sounded small and unsecure, but word after word, the truth came forth.

_Hello Castiel,_

_I don´t know how to do this. But I´m sitting in your room, it´s the middle of the night and you are gone. I don´t know what to do. I need you. How am I going to get on without you? How could you leave me? How could you not know?_

_I don´t know what you could possibly see in me that would make you think of me as loving and caring and worth an angel´s devotion, but you said all these things and for the first time, I felt like … like I did good. Like I did good in my life, because if I could make you, the most loyal, bravest and kindest man I know, think about me like this, than maybe there was hope for me. But now you´re gone and there is no hope left._

_Cas, how could you not have known? I admit, it took me a while to admit to myself that I missed you when you weren´t there. That my heart was beating faster with you by my side and that I felt more alive when you were close. That your touch left me shaking. But when I saw you again after that year with Lisa, I suddenly felt all the things I had so desperately tried to feel when I was with her. And when I saw you again in purgatory, I was sure that there was only one person that I could feel for like this. And now you´re gone. Again. And I don´t know if I can get you back this time._

_I read the letter, the one that you left in your desk. Obviously, I have been just oblivious as you and now I can´t stop thinking about all the time we have wasted, all the time that we could have had together if I had been braver or treated you better and hadn´t pushed you away time and time again. I won´t ever understand what you see in me, but how could you not have known that you can have it? That you can have me, all of me? I´m yours. Have been forever, will be forever._

_I love you, too. And I will see you again, and if it´s the last thing that I´ll do. I won´t stop searching and I will find you._

_  
See you soon._

_With love,_

_Dean_

By the time Dean was finished, Cas´ shoulders were shaking with the force of his sobs, but his eyes shone like Dean had never seen them before. Years seemed to have melted from his face and he looked a lot more like when he had stepped into that barn, over a decade ago. Cas lifted his hand and cradled Dean´s face, a look of wonder in his gaze, as if he couldn´t believe that he was allowed to do it. The hunter pulled him closer and rested his forehead against Cas´. For a moment, neither moved. For a moment, the empty was the perfect place, quiet and peaceful and they had all the time in the world to just be. To finally be together. But the empty was very much not a perfect place and Dean really didn´t want more of their firsts to happen in the empty or connected to the empty or separated by the empty. “So, how do we get out of here?”

Cas took his hand. “I don´t know. I´m not sure we can.”

Fear tried to settle in Dean´s heart, but he pushed it down. They had come so far. They had been able to safe all the people that had been snapped by Chuck, they had managed to bind god and feed him to the empty. He had come so far. He sure as hell wouldn´t stop now.

“How did you get here in the first place? The empty is not a place for humans, you shouldn´t even be able to get in.”

“We tried to make a deal with the empty and give god to it if it gave you back, but it cheated. So I just, uh, kinda hitched a ride when it swallowed god.”

Cas let out a huffed laugh. “That does sound a lot like you, Dean.”

“Everything for you.”

Dean blushed. He would not turn into a sappy idiot, not even for Cas. But the angel looked at him with so much wonder and delight, it might just have been worth it.

“So, if I shouldn´t be able to get in, maybe I will be able to get out?”

“Maybe. But … I can´t come with you, Dean. I´m an angel. The empty may not be able to hold you, but it can hold me.”

“Not an option. I´m not leaving you, and if I can´t get you out, I won´t leave either.”

Cas shook his head sadly. “You can´t do that, Dean. Not to Sam, not to Jack, they have lost enough, they need you.”

“And I need you!” The shout echoed through the empty. Dean looked around. In fact, the darkness began to lift. And Cas became a little… pale. A little less real. Not much yet. But noticeably. Dean panicked and pulled Cas close again, held him as tight as he could.

“No, no, I can´t lose you again, I can´t, I won´t leave you here, you hear me? I won´t!”

“I´m sorry, Dean. If there was a way to become human, I would. I would!”

Dean pulled back. “Is there a way? To become human?”

Cas frowned. “I would need a human soul. But that can´t be done, not here. There is no soul for me to take and even if there were, it would have to be compatible. I´m sorry.”

Dean bit his lip.

_Think, think, think! There has to be something, there has…_

Then it dawned on him.

“Cas, how much of a soul do you need?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, would half of a soul be enough for you to become human?”

Cas cocked his head again, then his eyes widened in understanding.

“You mean, you … I could … You would…”

“Yes. Everything. For you.”

Cas hesitated, but his face had become darker, as if he were swallowed by shadows.

“Cas, we don´t have much time. Can you share my soul?”

Determination shone in the angels´ eyes.

“Yes, I can. But it will be painful.”

“I don´t friggin´ care! Do it!”

And Cas reached into Dean´s chest and pulled and he felt it in every fiber of his being. Dean screamed and spurred Cas on and clung to his other hand as if he wanted to break it and then it was done. Numbness filled him. He stared at the bright flare of his own soul with curiosity. Suddenly he didn´t know anymore why he´d done this. What was the point anyways? Cas met his eye, a steely glint in the blue orbs, and twisted the globe of pure light, carefully, lovingly, but with determination. And in his hands, it came apart, one became two and before Dean could even believe his eyes, Cas shoved one half of the soul back into his chest and the other half into his own.

Dean screamed, again, but this time, his voice was joined by Cas´. His pain ebbed slowly, but the angel curled into himself and moaned. Dean wanted to support him, but before he could move, Cas turned his face up with a bloodcurdling scream and Dean saw his remaining grace burn out in his eyes. And then Cas collapsed.

Dean caught him and they both fell to the invisible floor. With one hand, he held Cas up, with the other, he began tapping his cheek.

“Come on, come on, come on, don´t give up now, don´t give up, come back, you can do this!”

Finally, the angels´ eyes fluttered and he looked up at Dean with wonder.

“I feel you inside me. I feel your soul inside me.”

Dean huffed a laugh and buried his face in Cas´ chest. He was so relieved, he didn´t even mock Cas for the innuendo.

“Thank g… well, I´m glad you´re okay.”

Castiel smiled and pulled himself up to wrap his arms around Dean´s shoulders.

“It´s become brighter.”

Dean looked up and it had indeed become brighter, but Cas was still in his arms, no shadows that tried to take him away.

“We did it.” He wanted to scream it across heaven and earth, but only a whisper came out of his mouth. The most important person heard it anyways.

“Yes, we did it. You never cease to amaze me, Dean Winchester.”

Dean closed his eyes and let their foreheads touch. Everything was said. And they waited for the darkness to pass.

***

“Dean? Dean!”

“Castiel!”

Dean startled and looked up. He kneeled in the bunker´s basement, where they had performed the ritual. Where Cas had sacrificed himself. Sam and Jack stood just a few feet away, a chair was lying on the ground as if one of them had stood up so quickly, it had fallen over. He squinted into the bright light everywhere around him and finally, his eyes landed on Castiel. Cas. Real. Human. Alive. He smiled.

“Welcome home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment, I need someone to go nuts with! :D


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